Some thoughts on Dry Spells…

Have you ever felt "dry" in ministry? Well, here's some of my thoughts regarding this!

• Do not be afraid of dry times when you don’t feel God or feel really zero passion for ministry.
• The time when you are emerging from a dry spell is actually the “best” time in ministry so if you haven’t gone through that, ministry life is not a complete circle yet.
• Dry spell time is – as you can see, very dry and painful. When your bones and skin is dry, you feel tired, old, and generally, lack of life.
• But this is the only time when you will be able to realize so many new things about God. You need to see God in different perspectives. So God is training you to see Him even when you are in a sad or bad patch. If you can only see God during the good/high times, then your vision of God is also, not complete yet.
• A dry spell is not something you can “will” yourself to come out of. You can’t say I wanna be up there, serving, and doing God’s work all the time. You need to seek God’s time.
• During a dry spell, it a time of dessert-temptations like what Jesus went through. So it’s not the end of your spiritual life (we tend to think that we lost that initial zeal and that’s it for us for ministry…) But, it’s actually just the beginning of the challenge of God’s mission for you. Only after Jesus’ 40 days in the desert, he then began his public ministry for 3 years. Imagine what God wants to do with you? So you need the dessert-experience first before you can launch out
• It is only during a dry spell that you can really tell yourself what you want to do – you know when you take a backseat and look at life and re-organise your priorities.
• And if you emerge from that “season” and are “still” in Ministry and haven’t given up yet, you will realize you have even greater passion and greater insight and wisdom than before.

So.. Dry Spell = Storms = Dessert = Trials & Persecutions = Time of rest & preparation…


Jesus is our Rock of Refuge!

What life is all about

Have been thinking of what life is all about. I know I am not seen as enthusiastic in serving as the others and I only appear during Youth Mass. I guess sometimes, it is just too tiring to explain. Only God knows.

Have been facing the topic of death. My neighbour jumped down from our flat three weeks ago. This incident alone has great impact on me as it triggered a series of matters. I wonder why God wanted me to see this incident and I don't believe it was coincidental. I looked down from the 6th storey and he was lying there with his face up facing me directly. It was bloody. Image of that scene still haunt me till now. As I was going for work at that time, her daughter was screaming and crying beside him on the spot.

I think God wanted me to face and deal with certain issues. It triggered my childhood nightmares. I used to see myself jumping down from the top of a Boon Lay shopping centre near my house in my childhood dreams. There was a long period of time when I was scared of walking near parapets of the buildings and bridges. My neighbour's suicide also triggered the memory of my friend who jumped down from his old flat and ended up lying near the lift, similar to the spot where my neighbour lied since he died near the lift.

Before my neighbour's suicide, I visited my family doctor. He suspected certain condition which may cost my life within hours though my symptoms were inconsistent.

Somehow, all these incidents asked me to stop rushing through life with all sorts of activities. I really take these few weeks to rest and reflect what is important. I know more clearly what I want. I ask God to give me more time. I love life.

Two weeks ago, God showed me how beautiful life is. I attended a mass at one of the parishes. The deaf and mute were invited to join the parishioners for mass. It was really awesome and beautiful to see them worshipping and praising God with sign languages. Though we use our voices while they used sign language, it was a wonderful feeling to celebrate the mass together. We are still one no matter how we communicate and worship God. I cried after that. No words can ever describe that wonderful, nice, peaceful and loving feeling. That was the best and most beautiful mass I have ever attended. I also felt sad for my deceased neighbour as he can no longer see the beauty of life.

Don't know why I tell God I want more time to get into university and complete my higher education as I love studies, get married and bring lives into this world. Even if I were to lose my life for bringing my own children into this world, I am willing to. I want to experience life. I am also curious about the experience of having a new life in the womb. I don't want to miss these wonderful experiences. I don't deny life is tough. However, these challenges help me to see and accentuate the goodness and grace from God. These challenges mold my character and I am able to share the joy and beauty with others. Without these challenges, I can never get to go through the experience of seeing the sun in the midst of dark clouds and my life will never be colorful. Imagine if I only see the sun without dark clouds, I think I will be dehydrated to death. Haha....don't know what I am babbling....

I want my children to get all blessings that I have. Each morning I wake up, I thank God for giving me another day as His grace for me. It's a free gift I don't have to earn. I know clearer what I want. I treasure even more the time I have with my friends and family. I feel happy when I see them happy. It's a joy when you see your loved ones happy though they will not be with me forever and this makes these moments with them even more precious. It is also a joy to see them happy from far.

I guess love is not about possession. It also gives me ideas about romance and marriage. If you love someone, you will see that person as part of you (just like the idea of people making up the body of Christ) and all you want is to see them happy. If he is feeling down, you will try to encourage him, make him laugh or simply be present. You will never force things to go your way. Because, this will ultimately cause him to fell pressurized and unhappy which will make you unhappy and miserable even if you possess him and manage to get your ways. So, what's the point of satisfying your own desires which may not be his, which is not even God's will? When it is God's time, He will bless us with the best right one. Till now, I still think it is a nice feeling to love. Of course, I also have to allow people to love me lah.....as God also loves me through other people.

I love God and life. No matter how tough life can be, life, itself, is beauty and grace from God. Though a lot of tears and fear during this dark period of time, I thank God for giving me a chance to look within myself deeper and see more clearly who I am and what I want out of life. I thank God for giving me each day of my life to see my loved ones and receive his blessings and grace. Haha....God is Love.

With Christ love,
Elena

Discernment

Today's talk by Phakist Kunardi, at SACCRE Youth's Leader's Seminar for Discernment was awesome.

He brought to light that Discernment is not about knowing what is the best thing to do or what is right or wrong but about God's will. It's about listening to God

He was absolutely charming. Keep a lookout for the notes and the audio recording at http://www.saccre-youth.org/!



As for me... Phakist's sharing led me to reflect on times where I was in a high, and when I was in a low. He talked about how we should not make decisions when we're too high, or change a decision when we're in the lows.

When I told God a long time ago at the YISS in 1999: "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" I had made a decision there and then. And God honored it. And I'm still here serving today.... So it's so true.. it's a calling on my life. And perhaps you have a particular calling too?

Many times, I had wanted to stop everything, quit, and do something else in life - and that was when I was in the "lows". Then, the "Highs" then got me all firey but also impatient, because it seemed no one else was as passionate as me. So, I thought, then what? Why is the Christian life seemingly so difficult?

So it's true that it's only when we've calmed down and are looking at things clearly, without being too low or high or emotional, then can we discern our lives and directions carefully, through our mind, feelings, heart, community, advisors, and God's confirmation through his Spirit speaking to us, each and every minute!

So I've learnt that when I run away and try not to hear what God has to say to me, I never have peace. Only when we embrace and listen to God's call and walk in that direction, we will understand why things are the way they are, or why we have been created the way we are, that God really knows best.

Today many things unravel for me and I praise God for this wonderful opportunity to have Phakist with us all the way from Indonesia!